In Defense of Waiting

    I would like to preface this by saying that I have absolutely no qualifications to tell you what to or what not to do, nor am I trying to sway you to believe and do what I believe and do. If you agree with the things I say, cool we aren't alone. If you disagree, maybe it can be a little bit of insight into other people's logic in a non judgmental way. If you're not sure where you stand, here's one side for you to look at. Without further adieu, here's my beliefs and opinions on waiting for sex. 

    What you have to understand about me is I think very highly of myself. Not so much in an extremely conceited way, but I think I have a lot to offer. I'm intelligent, funny and I like to believe I'm a fun person to be around. I like those things about myself and I like when other people like those things about me. However, it's hard for people to notice things beyond your body and sexuality if that's the only thing you're putting out there for people to notice. If you asked a guy up front if he would rather listen to you talk about things you're informed about or tell funny jokes/things that have happened in your life or have sex with you, he will probably chose the latter. The way around this is to not give him the second option. One of two things will happen: he will leave you, or he will begin to appreciate the things about you that don't have to do with your sexual availability. If you really think about it, how upset would you be if option one happened and he left? Really ponder that one. If a guy's only reason for leaving is because you're not having sex with him, do you actually want to spend your life with him? Ladies, the answer better be no. You are made up of SO many beautiful things, and if he's not willing to explore the beauty that is you because you aren't willing to let him explore your body out of self-respect, I promise you can do better. If you want a guy to love and appreciate the things about you that are beyond your sexuality, don't offer up your sexuality. 

    Now, that paragraph was more on a just getting to know each other basis/early dating stage. Let's say now you've been together for a long time and you're confident that he does love you for everything that you are. Now, honestly, it's based on YOU. For example, I watch bits and pieces of Ohio State football games, and I love seeing them win.... From the warmth and comfort of my couch. So, say I won season tickets that are right on the 50yd line, or something. I would probably sell them. To me, they just don't matter that much and it isn't a huge deal. But if a HUGE OSU fan who loved the team with his heart and soul won them, he wouldn't give them up or let other people touch them and their value to him would be a whole lot more than their value to me, even though they would be the same thing. In a way, our bodies are these OSU season tickets. Some people truly just don't think it's a really important thing, and that sex is just a healthy part of a relationship. To each their own, because once again, this decision is based on your beliefs and yours alone. However, some people are the die hard OSU fan who would cut off a limb to get season tickets on the 50 yard line off. To him, they are more valuable, just like to some people, their body is more valuable. I'm one of those people. I may wait until I'm in a long committed relationship, engaged or married. I think sharing your body with someone else is not only an intimate thing but an incredibly connective thing as well. You are becoming one with someone, and to me, that belongs within the confines of something more special than a couple of months. 

     Lastly, I would like to clear up a misconception. A lot of freshman/underclassmen apparently were under the impression that being in high school while being a virgin is embarrassing and an abomination, or something. As a senior who is also a virgin, and a senior who is friends with quite a few, I can promise that that is absolutely false. Honestly, if you're being judged for being a virgin, literally don't even worry about it. You are in good company. It's not shameful.

     I'm not saying wear floor length skirts and turtlenecks for guys to respect you for more than your body. I'm not saying wait until you're married to kiss someone. There's nothing wrong with flaunting off your good assets to an extent. There's nothing wrong with having fun with a guy you're into. There's even nothing wrong with having sex, if it's YOUR choice based on what YOU want. The only thing that's wrong is doing it if you don't want to. If you're having sex because a guy wants you to, or because friends are teasing you. It's YOUR body, do what YOU want with it.