In Defense of Waiting

    I would like to preface this by saying that I have absolutely no qualifications to tell you what to or what not to do, nor am I trying to sway you to believe and do what I believe and do. If you agree with the things I say, cool we aren't alone. If you disagree, maybe it can be a little bit of insight into other people's logic in a non judgmental way. If you're not sure where you stand, here's one side for you to look at. Without further adieu, here's my beliefs and opinions on waiting for sex. 

    What you have to understand about me is I think very highly of myself. Not so much in an extremely conceited way, but I think I have a lot to offer. I'm intelligent, funny and I like to believe I'm a fun person to be around. I like those things about myself and I like when other people like those things about me. However, it's hard for people to notice things beyond your body and sexuality if that's the only thing you're putting out there for people to notice. If you asked a guy up front if he would rather listen to you talk about things you're informed about or tell funny jokes/things that have happened in your life or have sex with you, he will probably chose the latter. The way around this is to not give him the second option. One of two things will happen: he will leave you, or he will begin to appreciate the things about you that don't have to do with your sexual availability. If you really think about it, how upset would you be if option one happened and he left? Really ponder that one. If a guy's only reason for leaving is because you're not having sex with him, do you actually want to spend your life with him? Ladies, the answer better be no. You are made up of SO many beautiful things, and if he's not willing to explore the beauty that is you because you aren't willing to let him explore your body out of self-respect, I promise you can do better. If you want a guy to love and appreciate the things about you that are beyond your sexuality, don't offer up your sexuality. 

    Now, that paragraph was more on a just getting to know each other basis/early dating stage. Let's say now you've been together for a long time and you're confident that he does love you for everything that you are. Now, honestly, it's based on YOU. For example, I watch bits and pieces of Ohio State football games, and I love seeing them win.... From the warmth and comfort of my couch. So, say I won season tickets that are right on the 50yd line, or something. I would probably sell them. To me, they just don't matter that much and it isn't a huge deal. But if a HUGE OSU fan who loved the team with his heart and soul won them, he wouldn't give them up or let other people touch them and their value to him would be a whole lot more than their value to me, even though they would be the same thing. In a way, our bodies are these OSU season tickets. Some people truly just don't think it's a really important thing, and that sex is just a healthy part of a relationship. To each their own, because once again, this decision is based on your beliefs and yours alone. However, some people are the die hard OSU fan who would cut off a limb to get season tickets on the 50 yard line off. To him, they are more valuable, just like to some people, their body is more valuable. I'm one of those people. I may wait until I'm in a long committed relationship, engaged or married. I think sharing your body with someone else is not only an intimate thing but an incredibly connective thing as well. You are becoming one with someone, and to me, that belongs within the confines of something more special than a couple of months. 

     Lastly, I would like to clear up a misconception. A lot of freshman/underclassmen apparently were under the impression that being in high school while being a virgin is embarrassing and an abomination, or something. As a senior who is also a virgin, and a senior who is friends with quite a few, I can promise that that is absolutely false. Honestly, if you're being judged for being a virgin, literally don't even worry about it. You are in good company. It's not shameful.

     I'm not saying wear floor length skirts and turtlenecks for guys to respect you for more than your body. I'm not saying wait until you're married to kiss someone. There's nothing wrong with flaunting off your good assets to an extent. There's nothing wrong with having fun with a guy you're into. There's even nothing wrong with having sex, if it's YOUR choice based on what YOU want. The only thing that's wrong is doing it if you don't want to. If you're having sex because a guy wants you to, or because friends are teasing you. It's YOUR body, do what YOU want with it. 

My Biggest Fear

     Halloween may be over, but the scariest thing in the world is still out there, lingering about us, looming over our heads like a deathly storm cloud. This is scarier than any horror movie, haunted house or costume you have ever seen. It is as inevitable as each passing day, and as much as we'd like to stop it, we can't. It is the fact that some of the people we are currently attending high school with will be participating members of society. If that's not enough to make you feel physical signs of fear, I don't know what will. This may sound like a joke, but I am everything but joking. This isn't as much of an insult as it is a wake up call. Try to snooze me and I'll keep calling back.

     For starters, PLEASE learn how to spell. Please. You might think I'm a grammar nazi. I know I'm not your legal guardian, nor am I your English teacher but I have my concerns. One day, presumably, you will find a job. You will be providing a service for people, and one may be me. All I'm saying is that I don't want a person who can't differentiate between "your" and "you're" providing these services for me. The bottom line is that you are failing to grasp BASIC grammatical concepts, and one day you will have to grasp even harder concepts, grammatical or otherwise. It frightens me that one day, a person who fails to see a difference between "hole" and "whole" may have to do something for me that requires responsibility and intelligence. You are my peers, and will be forever. At this point, it doesn't make much of a difference but once you are a fully engaged member of a society that I, too, am a fully engaged member of, I would like to be surrounded by intelligent people that I feel safe to put my responsibility and trust in. 

     Along with that, a lot of kids I go to school with simply just don't care. They're doing illegal things irresponsibly. I don't care if you smoke weed or drink, but don't be an idiot about it. You're 18 or below. You have the majority of your life ahead of you, so be smart. But I mean something seemingly less important when I say they don't care. A lot of students don't care at all about their academics, which makes me sound like a mother or a public speaker, but it truly concerns me. Not only are they not able to differentiate between basic homonyms, they don't care to. Learning has become so unimportant. Maybe that's because of the way our education system is run, but I think it's more because students just don't care. We learn so we can become more engaged members of society. So maybe you think government class is awful, but as someone who will be effected by the choices YOU make at some point, I would appreciate if you paid attention. Until you're preparing to enter the "real world" you don't think about it, but you will all go your seperate ways, but in the span of 4 years, all of the people in your high school will be entering with you and I would like them to be educated. I would like to have informed people voting for issues. I would like intelligent people to perform services for me, and I would like the people I am in the "real world" with to be educated. 

     Another issue is constant fighting. This paragraph's target demographic is underclassmen, but there's a select few upperclassmen it applies to as well. Constantly starting fights on social media and otherwise isn't a great way to go through high school. Not only will your malevolent, foul words be things potential employers and colleges look at when deciding whether to employ/accept you, but it's an incredible sign of disrespect. Underclassmen, lacking respect for people who are above you will one day cause more than an entertaining social

media outburst. I know you think you're cool for being in a fight with a senior or junior, but you're not. I promise you. And I fear for the day where you dislike someone above you at your workplace so much that you get demoted or fired almost as much as I look forward to it. The bottom line is that if you give respect, you will receive it back. Upperclassmen will be nice to you if you are nice to them. I assure you, however, regularly starting pointless twitter fights with upperclassmen just to provoke a response isn't the way to go. At school, we are taught math and English but we are also given the opportunity to learn how to respect people. I suggest you take it. 

     This is not meant to be an insult to anyone in particular, or even an insult at all. I'm not trying to sound like your parents, your teachers, or any member of authority. I'm speaking as a future participating member of society who fears living in a world with uneducated people. Too many terrible things happen when incredibly intelligent people are attempting to make them right, and I would rather not see what would happen when we put uneducated people in charge. I'm not saying spend your entire weekend every weekend studying. I'm not saying if someone says something mean to you to reply "it's okay. I respect you". I'm not saying go into school with an "I physically cannot be more excited to learn today" attitude. But we are given an opportunity to be educated before we enter life as fully participating citizens, and as a future fully participating citizen, I wish everyone, myself included, would grab that opportunity and take it.